There is no doubt that my favorite writer of 2018 has been Brené Brown. Her research on 'vulnerability' encompasses so much material that has been greatly missing in psychological research, throughout the years.
Delving into the shadow areas of guilt, shame and discomfort while dissecting their psychological components has been an eye-opener. Throughout therapy, these are areas that are touched upon, under a new light now.
When asked the million dollar question : Why do some rise stronger than others in difficult/adverse life changing times? Three main contributing character qualities or abilities were discussed in depth in her recent book 'Daring greatly'.
1) The capacity to tolerate 'discomfort'.
This is one quality that can be developed over time. It takes patience and persistence to feel an unpleasant emotion and not run away from it. Sitting with 'unpleasantness' is certainly not enjoyable nor is it a choice we make. But it is doable.
2)People who overcome their darker times are often highly aware and process their own emotions. They are un-afraid of emotions. The capacity to label their emotions may have been learnt in therapy or throughout an open and communicative household. Childhood often dictates our tools for dealing with emotions. Some are lucky in this department.
3) The third component relates to emotional intelligence, on a social level. People who overcome difficult times in their lives and rise even stronger, possess empathy. Empathy allows relating to the 'other' and realizing the we are one. Our vulnerabilities are universal and common and therefore 'I will overcome it' can happen when we relate to the 'other', who has been through it all. Provided that connection through empathy is established, with at least one person. Empathy and compassion create miracles....